Text: James 3:1-12
OPEN:
Today, as we continue our series called What If? we'll ask the question: "What If... I Watch What I Say?" Each week, as I begin preparing these messages, I think, "This is the most difficult of them all." Well, when it comes to today's topic being a tough one to master, we have Biblical support for the idea. The book of James says...
...but no man can tame the tongue. It is a restless evil, full of deadly poison. (James 3:8)
You can't fully tame the tongue like you are domesticating a wild animal, but you can learn to control it, and you can learn how to use to experience God's blessings and his power in your life. In fact, it's necessary in the Christian life. James said that though it is impossible to tame the tongue, we are to learn to keep a tight rein on it. His exact words were...
Those who consider themselves religious and yet do not keep a tight rein on their tongues deceive themselves, and their religion is worthless. (James 1:26)
So learning to control the tongue is not an optional pursuit for the Christian. It's a requirement for all of us, and it's a discipline that God takes seriously.
I. THE WAY WE COMMUNICATE CAN CAUSE MANY PROBLEMS.
Please note that I insert the word "communicate" in place of "speak." There was no email or social media when Jesus addressed the issue of the tongue. His emphasis is not on the act of speaking, but on the words we use to communicate.
It's not difficult to see the problems caused by the wrong use of words. You don't have to look far. More than likely, only as far as your closest relationships, because this is the biggest problem caused by words.
1. Wrong words can destroy relationships.
2. Wrong words can make a bad situation worse.
Whenever you continue to speak negative words into a negative situation, you tend to fan the flame of negativity until it gets out of control.
II. WORDS HOLD GREAT POSITIVE POTENTIAL.
However, if you are willing to take control of your words, you can begin to create changes in your life.
1. You'll become a better person.
Here's a principle we need to keep in mind: "Change your words and you'll change yourself."
James said...
We all make many mistakes, but those who control their tongues can also control themselves in every other way. (James 3:2)
A key to overcoming bad habits is to start with your tongue, start with the words you say.
2. You'll build others up.
Another advantage of taking control of your words is that right words can minister to others. They strengthen others and build them up. Paul tells us in Ephesians...
Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. (Ephesians 4:29)
Your words have the power to tear people down, or the power to build people up. Your words have the power to make people want to quit, or to encourage them to try one more time. It depends on how you use them.
Strengthening. Encouragement. Instruction. And comfort. This should be the goal of every conversation, every email, every Facebook post, every Tweet.
3. You'll give glory to God.
Another advantage of taking control of your words is that you give glory to God. David said...
My lips will glorify you. (Psalm 63:3)
One of the reasons we are put on this earth is to glorify God with our words. Yes, we are also called to glorify God with our actions ... but we must remember that God puts a high price tag on the things we say. He wants to hear our praise. And just like couples need to remind one another of their love, just like friends need to express appreciation to one another, God wants to hear from his people words of praise and thanksgiving and expressions of love.
III. PRACTICE THE JESUS FILTER.
Here are four practical steps towards taking control of your words...
1. Don't say everything you know.
You may know something about someone, but just because you know it, and just because it's true, doesn't mean you have to say it. If what you say does not build up others and bring glory to the name of Christ, then you're better off keeping your mouth shut. Solomon said...
A man of knowledge uses words with restraint. Before you speak, consider saying nothing at all, because you don't have to say everything you know. (Proverbs 17:27)
2. Don't say everything you think.
Some people believe they know a little bit more about every subject than anyone else, and they believe it is their duty to wax eloquent whenever the chance presents itself. Whatever subject comes up in conversation, whether it's the stock market, computers, criminal justice, football, politics, or religion, they believe they have the first and final word on the matter. And, of course, they share it with you.
We can fall into this habit unintentionally, but we need to watch out for it.
We should think about what Solomon said...
Even a fool is thought wise if he keeps silent. (Proverbs 17:28)
You don't have to say everything you think. Before you speak, keep this principle in mind: Silence looks like knowledge. So, remember to think first, speak second. Thirdly...
3. Don't repeat everything you hear.
The problem with repeating gossip is that there is a better than even chance that what you heard isn't completely true. Gossip tends to get embellished as it is passed from person to person. The subject of gossip is one that we do not take seriously enough. We say things like, "I'm going to go visit 'so and so' and catch up on the latest gossip." We say it like there's nothing wrong with doing that.
To a certain extent, 'catching up on gossip' is just a figure of speech, but it's all too often all too accurate of the way we make conversation. We need to begin to take gossip seriously. Do you know what Proverbs says about gossip?
A perverse man stirs up dissension, and a gossip separates close friends. (Proverbs 16:28)
That's something new to think about. Did it ever occur to you that when you talk bad about someone, God considers your actions perverted? It may seem hard to believe, but that is what the Bible says.
Solomon said...
He who covers an offense promotes love, but whoever repeats the matter separates close friends. (Proverbs 17:9)
Repeating everything you hear destroys friendships. This is why you need to think before you speak, and consider whether you should say anything at all. You don't have to repeat everything you hear.
4. Communicate as though Jesus is listening (He is). That is using the Jesus Filter.
CLOSE:
These four steps will get you started in taking control of your words. And when you take control of your words, you are able to take control of other areas of your life. As James said...
We all make many mistakes, but those who control their tongues can also control themselves in every other way. (James 3:2)
This week, try putting these four steps into practice:
1. Don't say everything you know,
2. Don't say everything you think,
3. Don't repeat everything you hear.
4. Communicate as though Jesus is listening.
Just like changing your thoughts can change your world, changing your words can change yourself.
(Dr. Dane Fowlkes)
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