Study Guide: "What If... I Forgave Everyone?"

Text: Matthew 18:15-35

OPEN:

Today we're staring a new series called "What If...?" This series explores how you can experience a more dynamic life through putting into practice some foundational Biblical principles, such as forgiving others, managing your time and finances, walking in faith, controlling your thoughts and speech, and living with purpose. These principles all fall within the realm of "possible" in that anyone can do them, but they also open the door to the realm of the impossible: Practicing these things day-in and day-out creates a life of miracles, and makes available a whole new world of options for you to pursue.

        

That's what this series is about: What If? It's about exploring new possibilities. Today we'll ask the question, "What If I Forgave Everyone?"

The more I have studied this subject the more I realize the tendency we have -- and by "we" I mean "me" -- to harbor unforgiveness. Here's something interesting. If you type unforgiveness into a word processor and you have spell check turned on, it will get underlined, because unforgiveness isn't really a word. But that doesn't stop us from using it and/or doing it. Many times we kid ourselves into thinking that we have forgiven others ... but we haven't quite let it go yet.

I. NOT FORGIVING CREATES problems for you.

Let me tell you something. If you hang on to unforgiveness, it will create problems for you. Emotional torment. Bitterness. Moodiness. Sleeplessness. It's been said that harboring unforgiveness is like drinking poison and hoping it will kill your enemies. That's because when you hang on to unforgiveness, it hurts you more than it hurts anyone else.

Some people think that refusing to forgive gives them some kind of leverage over the other person. Or by refusing to forgive to they can extend the punishment the other person receives. But who really gets punished in this situation? The unforgiver. He's the one who continues to carry the weight of offense.

her person, and it eats them up, and it keeps them awake at night, and it destroys their good mood ... meanwhile the person they can't forgive goes merrily on with their life, oblivious to it all. It does no good to hang on to unforgiveness. You may as well just drink poison.

II. FORGIVING IS GOOD FOR YOU.

However, if you're willing to put the principle of forgiveness into practice, you'll create a better life for yourself. How? First of all...

1. You'll experience peace. That gnawing sensation will go away. That unsettled sense of resentment and discontentment will disappear. It will be replaced by a sense of peace.

Corrie Ten Boom said, "Forgiveness is to set a prisoner free, and to realize the prisoner was you."

In Colossians 3 Paul tells us...

"Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another ..." (Colossians 3:13)

Then he goes on to say...

"Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace." (Colossians 3:15)

There's a connection between forgiveness and peace. If there's no peace in your personal life, maybe it's because you have some unforgiveness in your heart. If there's no peace in your marriage or in your family, maybe it's because you're hanging on to past hurts and refusing to let go of yesterday's offenses. And if peace cannot reign in this church, it is no doubt for the same reason. We haven't fully forgiven one another. If you want peace to reign in your life, learn to forgive.

Another benefit you'll create is ...

2. You'll find it easier to forgive yourself. If you are a forgiving person, and are willing to extend mercy to others, it will be easier to extend mercy to yourself.

If you struggle with guilt and regret, then maybe you should take a look at your attitude toward those around you, and toward the people from your past. Have you forgiven those who need to be forgiven?

This brings me to the next benefit that I want you to see. When you practice the principle of forgiveness...

3. You will experience the fullness of forgiveness. Sometimes Jesus said things that were so simple, and so straightforward, and so direct, that it leaves you with only two choices: To take his words exactly as he said them, or to spend half an hour talking in theological circles to explain why this isn't what he really meant.

There's a good example of this in Luke 6. Jesus said as plain as day...

"Forgive and you will be forgiven." (Luke 6:37)

He also said it in the Lord's prayer:

Forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who have trespassed against us. (Matthew 6:12)

When you accept Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior, and you begin the journey of the Christian life, your sins are forgiven. That's because you have surrendered completely to the Lordship of Jesus. As you continue to walk in his forgiveness, God expects you to walk in forgiveness toward others. If you refuse to walk in forgiveness toward others, it will block the flow of forgiveness toward you. That's why Jesus stated emphatically: Forgive us as we forgive others.

There's a principle of reciprocity: you receive back what you give. That's why generous people always seem to have enough to get by, and often have more than enough. It's why people who are loving tend to be surrounded by people who love them. It's why people who are merciful to others find themselves on the receiving end of mercy when they need it -- as Jesus said: "Blessed are the merciful, for they shall receive mercy." (Matthew 5:7)

When you hang on to unforgiveness, you're not just drinking poison in your relationships, you're drinking poison in your spiritual life. You're cutting yourself away from a right standing with God. You're cutting yourself away from a life of blessing and peace and power. Conversely, when you live by the principle of forgiveness, you open the door in your life to all that God has for you.

III. HOW TO BEGIN FORGIVING.

And so the question is: How do I do it? How do I forgive? You and I both know that it is easier said than done. We tend to hang on to offenses for a long time. And the sad truth is that we tend to hang on to small offenses, while asking God to overlook our huge offenses.

Here are some things to remember in applying the principle of forgiveness:

1. You forgive as God has forgiven you.

These are the same words Paul used.

Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you. (Ephesians 4:32)

How has God forgiven you? Totally and completely. He forgives and, most importantly, he forgets. He says...

I will forgive their iniquity, and I will remember their sin no more. (Jeremiah 31:34)

Isaiah 38:17 says, "You have put all my sins behind your back." If something is behind your back, you can't see it anymore. That's the metaphor Isaiah is using. God forgives totally and completely, and he never revisits your sin again.

God forgives and forgets. He does not remember your sins. In the same way, you need to be willing to forget the sins of others.

Sometimes this takes effort. Forgiving and forgetting is an intentional choice you make. 

Understand that when you forgive someone, the objective is to let it go. The objective is to never bring it up again. Because that's how God in Christ has forgiven you.

Here's a second thing to remember about forgiveness.

2. You forgive only who you need to forgive.

What do I mean? I mean that I've met a lot of people who struggle with unforgiveness over things that really aren't any of their business.

This doesn't just apply to people who make headlines. It applies to people here at church. It applies to the people you work with. If there are two people in conflict, and you're not directly involved in the problem or the solution, then it's not your job to sit in judgment.

Jesus makes it very clear: If someone sins against you, (Matthew 18:15) then you need to deal with the offense and deal with forgiving them. But if someone gets caught up in a sin that doesn't involve you, then pray for that person, pray for those involved, pray that there will be restoration, and pray that God will work out the situation according to his will. But don't presume to be the forgiver in a situation that doesn't involve you. You will find yourself struggling with resentment, or you give in to the temptation to be self-righteous and smug, and it's all because you've tried to put yourself in a position in which you don't belong.

If you're struggling with unforgiveness, ask yourself: Does this situation involve me? Do I need to forgive, or do I, instead, need to pray for those involved, so that they can forgive one another as God would have them do?

Here's the third thing to help you work through unforgiveness.

3. You forgive face-to-face.

Jesus said ...

"If your brother sins against you, go and show him his fault, just between the two of you." (Matthew 18:15)

The simple truth is that most people in conflict never take this step. They talk to others, but they don't talk to each other. And the anger and the bitterness and the resentment grows because they refuse to deal with the situation one-on-one.

Jesus says that if talking one-on-one doesn't work, then you talk about it with a couple of others, and if that doesn't work, then you bring it before the church. Matthew 18 gives very specific instructions for dealing with conflict. Here's what I've noticed in thirty-plus years of ministry. The overwhelming majority of the time, when people meet face-to-face and discuss the matter one-on-one, the conflict gets resolved, and the relationship gets strengthened. The overwhelming majority of the time -- my estimate is way above ninety percent -- steps two and three aren't necessary. There's power in having the courage to sit down and look someone in the eye and say, "Can we resolve this today?" In my experience, this step is often all that is needed to start the process of forgiveness and reconciliation.

CLOSE:

What if you were to do this? What if you were to let go of the unforgiveness that so many people hang on to? What if you were to treat others as Jesus treats you, with mercy and compassion? What if you were to pray for reconciliation instead of standing in judgment? What if you were to meet face-to-face with those with whom you have conflict and seek resolution? What if you forgave everyone who has offended you in the past, and you let go of all the other resentments? Can you see how that would change your life? Can you see how it will make better relationships, how it will bring more peace into your life, how it will open the door to God's blessings?

Study Guide: "Whose Side Are You On?"

Text: Romans 6:1-23

OPEN:

In this mini-series we've looked at: "More Than You Thought You Were" (Romans 8:26-39), and "Make Up Your Mind" (Romans 8:1-17).

Today, we will talk about how to win the war on sin. This presupposes that we're in a battle. How many here today have experienced the struggle of trying to be holy, and bear the scars to prove it?

Some may think it's impossible to win this war, but it's not. In fact, there's a promise in the sixth chapter of Romans that we all need to claim. It's in verse 14: Sin shall not have dominion over you. 

God has promised us victory over sin. 

In Romans 6, Paul shows us how to claim and experience that victory. To win the war against sin, there are three steps to take. Here they are...

I. Understand the Meaning of Salvation.

1. Becoming a Christian isn't a matter of turning over a new leaf. It's a matter of beginning a new life. 

It's not just that we think differently, though we do. And it's not just that we act differently, though we will. It's that we ARE different. Our souls, which were empty and lifeless, have been made alive through the power of Christ. This is what Paul referred to when he said, (v. 4) For we died and were buried with Christ by baptism. And just as Christ was raised from the dead by the glorious power of the Father, now we also may live new lives.

When you accepted Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior, God gave you a new life. He gave you a capacity for holiness you didn't have before. I want you to understand that Paul is not being allegorical, or metaphorical, or symbolic when he says you've been made alive in Christ. He's being as literal as he can be. Something supernatural happens at the moment of salvation. You are transferred from spiritual darkness to spiritual light, from spiritual death to spiritual life, and you now have potential to live a Godly life.

2. Because of God's gift of salvation, we have power over sin. We are, quite literally, dead to sin. That's how Paul phrased it. (v. 6-7) Our old sinful selves were crucified with Christ so that sin might lose its power in our lives. We are no longer slaves to sin. For when we died with Christ we were set free from the power of sin. He went on to say, (v. 11) So you should consider yourselves dead to sin and able to live for the glory of God through Jesus Christ.

The Christian life isn't based on a feeling or a hunch. It's based on facts--the fact of God's love for you, the fact of his Word, the fact of the resurrection. Regardless of your feelings or hunches, these facts don't change. So, when Paul tells us to "reckon" ourselves dead to sin, he's not suggesting we attempt to manufacture a certain feeling. He's telling us to consider it so, because God has already said it is so.

3. God made you dead to sin and alive to Christ. Accept it. Consider it so. 

Don't wait for a feeling to confirm it. And don't doubt God's Word simply because your behavior hasn't caught up with your faith. Believing in the power of God is a prerequisite to experiencing the power of God. So, believe it. Understand the meaning of salvation. A second thing that will help you win the battle is...

II. Do the Math on Sin and Righteousness.

1. When you think about it, sin is really stupid. Nothing good can come of it. 

It only wreaks havoc for those who entertain it. You'll never hear someone say, "The smartest thing I ever did was embezzle from my employer...or cheat on my income taxes...or have an affair...or experiment with cocaine...or criticize my friend behind his back" and on and on. That's because sin does nothing but destroy. Paul reminds us of this when he says...

(v. 16) You can choose sin, which leads to death, or you can choose to obey God and receive his approval. (v. 21) And what was the result [of committing sins]? It was not good, since now you are ashamed of the things you used to do, things that end in eternal doom. (v. 23) For the wages of sin is death.

In these verses, Paul mentions three things we need to remember about sin.

• It leads to death

• It leads to shame

• It brings about its own punishment

The best argument for avoiding sin is to do the math on sin. Nothing good can come of it. It leads only to misery.

2. On the other hand, what does righteousness lead to? Life. Joy. Peace. Holiness. Fellowship with God. 

Paul said, (v. 16) You can choose sin, which leads to death, or you can choose to obey God and receive his approval. He goes on to say, (v. 22) Now you do those things that lead to holiness and result in eternal life.

Sin can take you in only one direction. It leads to death, shame, and misery. 

Obedience to God, on the other hand, takes you in a different direction. It leads to life, joy, peace, holiness, and every good thing God wants to give you. It's a non-negotiable reality. So, get the right perspective on sin and righteousness. Do the math, then make your choice. 

A third thing that will help you win the battle against sin...

III. Choose the Master you will Obey.

Paul said, (v. 16) Don't you realize that whatever you choose to obey becomes your master? You can choose sin, which leads to death, or you can choose to obey God and receive his approval. 

This goes against the grain of the American ideal--we like to think we're rugged individualists serving only ourselves, but it's not true. Paul says that every action is an act of obedience--an act of slavery, so to speak--either to sin or to righteousness. With every action you're becoming more holy or less holy. 

1. We serve the one we obey. 

The question is, whose slave do you want to be? 

Paul said, (v. 17-18) Once you were slaves of sin, but now you have obeyed with all your heart the new teaching God has given you. Now you are free from sin, your old master, and you have become slaves to your new master, righteousness. 

This is what God wants you to be. A slave to righteousness--so resolutely committed to him that you cannot help but do what's right. He's your master, you're his slave; you have chosen to obey him and him alone. You don't have to be a slave to sin. Sometimes you may feel as though you are, but you don't have to be one. You can live a holy life. God made a promise, (v. 14) Sin is no longer your master, for you are no longer subject to the law, which enslaves you to sin. Instead, you are free by God's grace.

2. This verse is translated differently in other versions because in Greek, the word "master" is a future tense verb. 

It means literally, Sin shall not have dominion over you. It's a promise. Paul is saying, "You don't have to be controlled by sin. You can have victory. But you have to decide which master you will obey."

When you became a Christian, you switched teams. Your loyalties changed. You used to be a slave to sin, but you don't have to be any more. You now have a new master to serve. Paul said, (v. 20,22) In those days, when you were slaves of sin, you weren't concerned with doing what was right....but now you are free from the power of sin and have become slaves of God. Choose your master. Choose who you want to serve. It's either sin or righteousness; the devil or the Lord. The one you obey is your master. Who do you want your master to be?

CLOSE:

You have the capacity for holiness. That's what salvation means. You've been forgiven; you have a new life and a new master. If you continue to serve your old master, you will only experience shame and misery. But your new master offers you freedom, joy, peace and holiness. Choose your master. Whose side are you on?

(Dr. Dane Fowlkes)

Study Guide: "Make Up Your Mind"

Text: Romans 8:1-17

OPEN:

(v. 5) Those who live according to the Spirit set their minds on the things of the Spirit.

This is a powerful verse, but for years I completely missed its point. I finally discovered I was reading it wrong. I didn't see that part "B" of this phrase was the key to accomplishing part "A". I thought it was saying, "When you're controlled by the Spirit, then you'll be able to think that which pleases the Spirit." That's not what Paul is saying. He's saying, "In order to be controlled by the Spirit, first think about things that please the Spirit." It's the same as saying, "Those who are physically fit are those who exercise." Part B is the cause, part A is the effect. Do you want to be good? Do you want to live a Spirit-controlled life? Then learn to think about things that please the Spirit. Another translation says it this way... (v. 5) Those who live in accordance with the Spirit have their minds set on what the Spirit desires.

He mentions two benefits of this kind of thinking: 

(v. 6) To set the mind on the Spirit is life and peace.

1) Life. 

Of course, he's talking about more than physical existence. He's talking about quality. Life with a capital 'L'. Life with an exclamation point! 

That's what God offers: Living that goes far beyond surviving, living that can best be described as thriving. It's life to the fullest. Jesus called it the abundant life. You receive it by allowing your mind to be controlled by the Holy Spirit.

2) Peace. 

It's the opposite of stress, the opposite of turmoil. 

When you make up your mind to be holy--when you set your mind on what the Spirit desires and allow him to influence your thoughts--you experience peace, even in the midst of stressful situations.

So the question is: What does the Spirit desire? What pleases him? What exactly am I supposed to think about? Romans 8 shows us three things that the Spirit wants for us. If you think on these things, you'll experience transformation--God guarantees it. First of all...

I. He Wants you to Experience Freedom from Guilt.

I'm referring to real guilt and imaginary guilt, because both are killers. God offers freedom from both. Paul said, (v. 1) Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.

Sin separates you from God. That's why you struggle with guilt. You've done things that are wrong. You knew it was wrong at the time, and you did it anyway. Welcome to the human race. Unfortunately, sin carries a huge price tag. Paul said, The wages of sin is death... (Romans 6:23)

1. Sin leads to guilt, shame and condemnation. But God doesn't want you to live the rest of your life with guilt, shame and condemnation. Contrary to what the world may think about Christianity, our goal is not to make people feel guilty. Our goal is to show people how they can be free from guilt forever. Though you've committed sins, the good news is that God will forgive your sins. Though you deserve judgment, the good news is that God has chosen not to condemn you. When you come to Christ, he sets you free from the law of judgment. You never have to fear his judgment again: (v. 1) Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.

2. Many struggle with guilt long after their sins have been forgiven, hanging on to the memory of sins that God has long-since forgotten. They say, "I don't deserve to be happy; I don't deserve to be blessed; I don't deserve to be forgiven." Of course, it's true. No one deserves to be forgiven...but we have been. The judgment we deserve has been lifted by the grace of God.

3. To become holy, think about the things which please the Spirit. Think about how God has set you free from the law of sin and death. How he sent his Son Jesus Christ into the world to die on the cross for your sins and mine, so that we could experience the fullness of life.

We have been set free from the law of sin and death. We need never live under condemnation again. Think about that; it pleases God. Secondly...

II. He Wants you to Experience Power Over Sin.

1. God created us to live with power. 

When Jesus told his disciples about the Holy Spirit, he said, "You will receive power when the Holy Spirit comes on you..." (Acts 1:8) This power isn't in ourselves, it's in him. It's his power, but it's available to you. Notice what Paul says, (v. 11) If the Spirit of him who raised Jesus from the dead dwells in you, he who raised Christ from the dead will give life to your mortal bodies also through his Spirit that dwells in you. 

He's saying "The same power that brought Jesus back from the dead can be yours." Think about it: if God's power can bring a dead man back to life, don't you think his power can help you overcome temptation? 

2. God wants you to experience power over sin, but you cannot do it on your own. You need his power to make it happen. Paul said, (v. 13) For if you live according to the flesh, you will die; but if by the Spirit you put to death the deeds of the body, you will live.

"Deeds of the body" refers to more than just physical, or sexual, sins. It refers to all sins, including anger, jealousy, selfishness, pride, dishonesty, hatred, discord, and the rest. Paul says that these misdeeds--these sins--need to be put to death by the Holy Spirit. How? 

When sin rears its ugly head--or even when the temptation to sin presents itself--we can say, "Father, by your power you raised Christ from the dead. By your power, help me overcome this sin. Take it away, and take away my desire to sin." 

But there's good news. Even greater than the power of sin is the power of God's Spirit. The Spirit that raised Jesus from the dead gives life to your mortal body. He will give you victory over sin, no matter how many times it comes back to haunt you. You can't expect it to be easy, but you can expect to win. God wants you to experience victory, so look forward to it. Think about it. Set your mind on it. It's what the Spirit wants for you. Next...

III. He wants you to Experience the Benefits of Adoption.

(v. 15) For you did not receive a spirit of slavery to fall back into fear, but you have received a spirit of adoption. 

1. Paul uses the term adoption because the term child of God doesn't accurately portray the level of relationship God wants with you. 

Adoption was a serious and sacred rite in Roman times involving elaborate ceremonies filled with symbolic gestures. It was not uncommon for an adult man to be adopted into a certain family for business or political reasons. For example, the Emperor Claudius adopted the full-grown Nero so that Nero could legally succeed him on the throne. 

Roman adoptions were irrevocable. Once adopted always adopted, you might say. The adopted child's old life was wiped out, including all debts and all rights as the child of the former father. The adopted child became, in every sense of the word, the full and complete heir of the adoptive father. There was no legal distinction between being a biological son and an adoptive son. A man's estate belonged equally to his biological children and his adopted children.

Those who have adopted children today understand this concept. The adopted child becomes your child with no strings attached.

2. You're not his slave or his hired hand, you're his child. 

Paul says, (v. 15) When we cry, 'Abba! Father!'

Abba was an intimate term that only a son or daughter would use. The word "Father" is a title; the word "Abba" is a name. A comparison today is the name "Dad." My best friend is a father, and I may refer to him as a father, but I don't call him "Dad" because he's not my father. God says, "Call me Dad. You're my child, my chosen child. All that I have belongs to you." Notice what Paul says, (v. 17) And if children, then heirs, heirs of God and joint heirs with Christ--if, in fact, we suffer with him so that we may also be glorified with him.

3. God wants you to experience the benefits of being his son. 

He's not your taskmaster or your tyrant. He's your father. He chose you to be his child. This is what you need to think about. 

Paul said, (v. 16) It is that very Spirit bearing witness  with our spirit that we are children of God. 

To be holy you must set your mind on what the Spirit desires; he desires for you to know that you are God's chosen child. He doesn't want you to have an attitude of fear and slavery, he wants you bask in knowing that he is your loving father, your "Dad."

CLOSE:

Becoming good--becoming holy--is a matter of putting your mind where you want your life to be.  

Being holy is a matter of making up your mind to be holy. I'm not referring to a process of determination, I'm referring to a process of realization--realization of who you are in Christ. In Christ, your sins are forgiven. You are free from guilt and condemnation. In Christ, you have the power of the Holy Spirit to give you power over sin. In Christ, you have been adopted into God's family and you are his child, specially chosen by him. 

Do you know Him? Do you belong to Him? Are you living like a fully forgiven, freely loved child of God?

(Dr. Dane Fowlkes)