Study Guide: "Like Father, Like Son"

Text: Genesis 26:1-25

OPEN:

When I was growing up, occasionally my mother or my grandmother would say, "You're just like your dad." Sometimes it was intended as a compliment, since my dad stood 6'2", had a deep bass voice, could do anything he set his mind to do, and (when he wanted to be) quite charming. Then again, sometimes these words were spoken in exasperation because my dad had a knack for being, well, exasperating. And I inherited it (even though I was adopted).

I always liked to hear that I was like my dad, because I always looked up to him. Even years later, when I had a more grown-up understanding of him, and realized that he had some flaws that I didn't want to emulate, I still liked the idea that I might possess his best qualities.

Today is Father's Day. I want to speak to us about the responsibility that God has placed on you. 

A father's job is to develop character in the lives of his children. Fathers, here's the catch. You will do this without even trying. You will develop character – or be a primary influence in the character development – of your children; the question is, what kind of character will they have?

Today we'll look at a father and son relationship in the Bible. It's one of the oldest: Abraham and Isaac. Abraham was a great man, he did many great things, God used him in a great way. But Abraham wasn't perfect. Far from it. And yet, he was God's man. Today we'll look at some events in Isaac's life that show us a father's influence. Dads, I encourage you to think about these things as you raise your children.

Now, the backstory is that Abraham was chosen by God when he was a young man. Fast forward a few years. Abraham has passed away. Isaac is now a grown man. We'll take up his story in Genesis 26. There are three events in this chapter that will help fathers pass on good qualities to their children. I've titled today's message Like Father Like Son because we're looking at Abraham and Isaac. Clearly, these principles apply to your sons and your daughters. Here are the three things I encourage you to do:

I. Make Sure You Give Them Something to Continue.

There was a famine in the land, and Isaac was preparing to move, and God spoke to him.

(v. 2) The Lord appeared to Isaac and said, "Do not go down to Egypt, but do as I tell you. Live here as a foreigner in this land, and I will be with you and bless you. I hereby confirm that I will give all these lands to you and your descendants, just as I solemnly promised Abraham, your father. I will cause your descendants to become as numerous as the stars of the sky, and I will give them all these lands. And through your descendants all the nations of the earth will be blessed."

This is basically the same promise God made to Abraham many years before. God continues to say...

(v. 5) "I will do this because Abraham listened to me and obeyed all my requirements, commands, decrees, and instructions."

1. God started something in Abraham's life that he was able to continue in Isaac's life, because Abraham was faithful to God. 

In the same way, God wants to do things in your life that he can continue through the lives of your children. I'm not talking about passing on the family business or making sure that your children follow in your career path. But I am talking about a family tradition, of sorts. A tradition of character, of obedience, of faith, and of service. It's a matter of identity.

2. There's something powerful about being able to say to your sons and daughters: This is who we are; this is the kind of choices we make, this is the type of life we lead.

3. Fathers, make sure you have something of value to pass on to your children. 

Make sure that your life begins something that God can continue in them, just like Abraham's heritage of faith and obedience. 

Here's the second thing I want to you think about...

II. Be Aware, and Help Your Children be Aware, of Your Character Flaws.

Something really interesting happens in chapter 26

(v. 6) So Isaac stayed in Gerar. When the men who lived there asked Isaac about his wife, Rebekkah, he said, "She is my sister." He was afraid to say, "She is my wife." He thought, "They will kill me to get her, because she is so beautiful."

Later, when Abimilech the king found out that Isaac had been dishonest, he was furious.

1. If this story sounds familiar, it's because Abraham pulled the same stunt with his wife, Sarah, years earlier, with the very same king.

Both men did what they did because of cowardice and lack of character. Both men showed a willingness to put their wives in a vulnerable situation in order to prevent putting themselves at risk. And both men were wrong to do it. 

Abraham was a man of God and God used him, but that doesn't mean he was perfect. Isaac was a man of God and God used him, but that doesn't mean he was perfect. The same can be said for Moses and David and Peter and Paul and every other person we meet in Scripture – with the particular exception of Jesus, who was without sin.

2. Here's the unfortunate truth: Your children are likely to pick up some of your bad habits. 

They're likely to inherit some of your character flaws. If they see you do cowardly things, they'll probably resort to cowardice, too. If they see you respond to challenges by losing your temper, they'll probably rant and rave, too, when things don't go their way.

3. Here's the problem: If you could fix your faults, you probably would. If you could just get rid of your fear and worry and anxiety and all your bad habits all at once, you probably would. But you can't because you're not perfect. So your kids will see you fail from time to time. Maybe they'll see you fail big time from time to time.

4. Here's what you can do: You can be completely honest with them about yourself and your faults. You can say, for example, "I struggle with my temper and I hate it. It hurts me in the workplace, it hurts me in my marriage, it isn't good for my health, and it's something I want to change. It's also a problem I want to help you avoid. You can do better than me."

Please understand: I'm not suggesting that you tell your children, "Do as I say, not as I do," – as if your attitude is, "It's never wrong when I do it." That's not what we're talking about at all. 

I'm talking about being transparent with your children about your weaknesses and faults. Imagine if Abraham had said, "Isaac, I brought shame on the family name when I lied to Abimilech, and I treated your mother with disrespect and put her in danger. This is not what a man of honor does. Don't follow my example on this one; learn from my mistakes instead."

Your kids will pick up some of your bad habits and bad qualities. I'm encouraging you to be wise enough to recognize your faults, and be transparent enough to admit them to your children, so that you can help them be strong enough to overcome them.

Here's the third thing I encourage you to do...

III. Make Sure They See You Do Most Things Right.

Towards the end of chapter 26, Isaac had moved to another place, and the Bible says that God appeared to him, and spoke words of comfort and promise to him – similar to what he said in the first part of the chapter. Here's the part I like:

(v. 25) Then Isaac built an altar there and worshiped the Lord.

Why did Isaac decide to build an altar there? Because he had seen or had heard about his own father doing it many many times in the past.

And Abram built an altar there and dedicated it to the Lord. (Genesis 12:7)

Then he built another altar and dedicated it to the Lord, and he worshiped the Lord. (Genesis 12:8)

This was the same place where Abram had built the altar, and there he worshiped the Lord again. (Genesis 13:4)

There he built another altar to the Lord. (Genesis 13:18)

1. Abraham gave his son an example of spirituality to follow. 

Abraham's custom was build an altar at every key moment in life, and to stop and worship the Lord. Isaac knew this. He heard the stories as they were passed down; he witnessed the example first-hand in his father.

2. Men, you're in church today. This is good. You're setting a good example. Do everything you can to build on that example. 

By nature, men tend to be reserved about things of an emotional or personal nature. Our relationship with God is a very personal matter.

But it's necessary. It's necessary for your kids to see examples of your spiritual life. That means coming to church, of course. It also means that they know that you pray, that you worship, that you serve. They're going to see your faults, because you can't hide them. Make sure they see your strengths, also. Make sure they have an example to follow.

The best way to do this is to take them with you.

What I'm saying is: Give your sons and your daughters the opportunity to see your faith in action. Give them a hands-on example to follow. And, it's never too late to start.

CLOSE:

Dads, the truth is that your kids want to be like you. I know that sometimes you might hear the opposite: "I'll never be like my dad!" That's because sometimes we go about things the wrong way.

In order for your kids to have character, you need to have character. Character is hard to develop, as you already know. But if you'll pay the price in your life to become the man you can be, it will be easier for your sons and daughter to pick up your strength and sidestep your weaknesses.

Make it your objective to give your kids an identity to continue. Be transparent with them about your weaknesses, so that they can learn from your mistakes, and overcome them. And give them an example to follow. Share your strengths with them. Make sure they see the good you do. Make sure they know the place God has in your life.

(Dr. Dane Fowlkes)