Study Guide: "Getting Right Instead of Getting Even"

Text: Matthew 5:21-26

 

OPEN: 

 

Easter is all about one thing--worship. We worship a Risen Lord; the Cross and empty tomb change everything. Lent is an important part of the Easter event because it prepares our hearts to participate in the celebration. The paschal rhythm of Lent steels our heart to burst forth in jubilant praise.

 

If Easter is worship, my heart needs help to qualify for the celebration. I fast so that I may better focus on my relationship with him.  I come to grips with who I am and all that I'm not but should be. I surrender to Christ and take my place on my own cross so that I may be his disciple.

 

But something else remains that is eminently practical.  Jesus refers to it here in the Sermon on the Mount. Jesus tells us that worship is impossible when we are at odds with someone else, particularly if that person is a fellow believer. 

• We may show up for church. We may have quite a track record. We can go through all the motions and perform all the right rituals, but our efforts are futile if we are not reconciled to our fellow believers.

• Easter is a beautiful celebration, but there's work to be done in order to truly participate.

 

I.  ANGER IS UNAVOIDABLE BUT HATRED IS UNACCEPTABLE (21-22)

    1.  The Meaning of Anger.

• “Angry” in verse 22 is from a Greek word meaning “a smoldering cauldron of hate.”

• Sometimes anger is appropriate -- anger is not sin. It is an emotion that is God-given to motivate us to action. Hopefully - Right Action!

    2.  Hatred is a Voluntary Reaction.

Jesus vividly describes real hatred in verse 22.

• “Fool” comes from moros and is the root for the English words "moron, moronic." It means: "dull in understanding, lacking a grip on reality." It is the spirit behind the words that Jesus addresses here. Does the word spring from righteous indignation or from malignant hatred? 

    1) No one can make you hate them.

• You may be justified in your anger and hurt.  You may have every right to be offended/annoyed/ticked-off/bitter.  But you are never justified in hating another person.

1 John 2:9, “Anyone who claims to be in the light but hates his brother is still in the darkness.”

 

II.  Reconciliation is More Important Than Religion (23-24)

 

 1. The first step to dealing with conflict is to stop and think!  Don’t simply react. 

• Take time to reflect and ask the Spirit of God for guidance.

    1) Jesus explains the importance of conflict (vs. 23-24).

    2) This is not a new rule about church attendance! 

• How many would be here if that’s what he said? No one, including me!!!!

• Jesus is describing what it is like to live in the kingdom of God. 

• People care about others so much that they are more concerned for them than their own preferences! - That alone will deal with a LOT of conflict!

    3) When people live in the kingdom of God - they progressively become filled with warmth and tenderness and love for other people, so if there is a relationship that can be reconciled they’ll run out of church to make it right. 

• Not because they are righteous, but to become more like Christ. 

• Conflict ruins everything. It destroys friendships, marriages, families, teams, businesses, and it even destroys churches.

 2. The second step to dealing with conflict is to stop and look at yourself.

 

Matthew 7:3-5 

"And why do you look at the speck in your brother’s eye, but do not consider the plank in your own eye? Or how can you say to your brother, Let me remove the speck from your eye; and look, a plank is in your own eye? Hypocrite! First remove the plank from your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck out of your brother’s eye."

 

    1) Before you tackle conflict look at your part of the action!

    2) Jesus explains the urgency of conflict (vs. 25-26).

• Settle conflict quickly

• Is Jesus given shrewd legal advice here? No, he’s saying you have a limited amount of time so seek reconciliation while you have the chance.

• Conflict can quickly escalate into all out war! Many times it will grow until others are drawn into it and there is no way to figure it all out - except with outside help.

 3. The third step to dealing with conflict is to stop and "Look at the other person."

• Really listen to the person that you're at odds against. Let them know you heard them. 

• This is not a matter of simply repeating the words. Reflect back to them the content and the feelings of their concern. 

• When you listen to others and really hear them they are a lot more likely to listen to you!

 4. Once you have listened then you can take the 4th step: "Speak the Truth - in love."

Ephesians 4:15

"Instead, speaking the truth in love, we will in all things grow up into him who is the Head, that is, Christ."

 

Having a good outcome to conflict doesn’t have anything to do with winning. It has everything to do with loving. If we don't love each other, then all is lost and we might as well lose up shop.

 

CLOSE:

 

If you want to join in the Easter celebration, get right instead of getting even.

Worship is impossible when we are at odds with someone else, particularly if that person is a fellow believer.

Dr. Dane Fowlkes